For those of you who haven't seen the movie or read the book and are still planning to, I'm not giving anything away here, but basically the premise of the story is that Jacob Jankowski/Edward from Twilight abandons his studies in his senior year of college during the week of final exams and joins a traveling circus. Do you see the problem?
I woke up last Wednesday at 9:30 in the morning (dawn, compared to my usual standards) with all intentions of studying my heart out for my UCC final that night. I made my oatmeal, flopped on the couch, and thought to myself just a few minutes of Divorce Court or 90210 reruns til I finish my oatmeal, and then it's Studytown, USA, population:me. However, whilst flipping through the channels with the admitted dexterity of someone who has enjoyed a light course load and a lot of free time this semester, I happened across Water for Elephants. Just a few minutes of juggling and fire dancers, and then it's back to negotiable instruments and holders in due course I thought naively to myself.
Flash forward an hour and a half, and I am tearing up, third bowl of oatmeal in hand, as Reese Witherspoon and Edward Cullen ride off into the sunset on an elephant.
After that, I settled down to my books and earnestly attempted to drum some law-related facts into my circus-filled brain. But, try as I might, my mind kept wandering from risk of loss and breach of contract, to how cool I would look astride an elephant in a sequin covered costume, and how dreamy Robert Pattinson is when he doesn't have white face makeup and red lipstick on.
In conclusion, to all fellow college seniors in the midst of finals: do not watch Water for Elephants until exams are over. While the idea of performing atop majestic animals while wearing elaborate costumes is undoubtedly tempting, take your exams before pursuing this. The reality is, in 5 years you could very well end up shoveling elephant shit for a living, and you'll be thankful you have your degree to fall back on.
Sincerely,
Joge
P.S. Be on the lookout for a Joey Fatone related post coming soon, as a shoutout to one of my viewers who is in love with him, and whose name starts with an N and rhymes with Shmoelle!
